carojewlien:

This is going to be fucking long but I think my moms important enough for me to write this big ass paragraph it’s the least I could do. Do you know what it’s like to swim with your mom and know it’s going to be the last time? Do you know what it’s like to hear the doctor say she has two more months to live? Do you know what it’s like to go to the hospital all the time for two years that it starts to become like a second home? Do you know what it’s like to hear your mom cry of pain and knowing you can’t do anything to help? Do you know what it’s like to think to yourself “she was such a good person I should have died to keep her alive “? Do you know what it’s like to hold your moms hand for the last time and know that she’s not even breathing while you’re at it? Do you know what it’s like to see your mom in a coma the day before Christmas Eve? Do you know what it’s like to get a call at approximately 12 am on Christmas Eve getting the news that your mom just died? Do you know what it’s like so have to live every single day just wishing you could have one last hug one last day to spend with your mom but knowing that it’s impossible? Do you know what it’s like to live with that guilt every single day? Do you know what it’s like to get people say “ you’re so strong “ but knowing you’re yet so weak for crying about it all the time? Do you know what it’s like to have people hate on you for still talking about it? Do you know what it’s like to have to live every single day without your mom, your best friend, the one that gives you advice, the one who helps you get through shit and school, the one person you thought would always be there, the one you’d expect to see one day while you’re walking down the aisle, the one you’d except to be able to hug you when you’re feeling down?

 Don’t come hating on me for missing my mother try living in my shoes for one single day without your fucking mother see what it feels like.

Hi I’m Caroline Julien and on December 24^th 2009 I lost my mommy to ovarian cancer.

All I’m asking is for you to reblog this if you see this please it would mean the world to me for people to see how much things can affect peoples lives do it please for me and my mom.